Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
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Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
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We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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