He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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