They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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