yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize