they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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