I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
