Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Duck Duck Cougar?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
