Dual....:-)
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
