I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
