i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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