Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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