Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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