you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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