I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
