I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
