well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
