She's JV to your varsity
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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