she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
