All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
It's Friday. Sex?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I need to calm my uterus...
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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