apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
