At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I believe in your delicious
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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