I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
