you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
