i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
