just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
