I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I smell stomach acid.
I cut my penus on the lid.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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