Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
