idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
