She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Do vagina's smell?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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