...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
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