Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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