I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
