If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
