so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Just pee around me
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
