Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
