we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
two words...techno handjob
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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