Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
