i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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