I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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