areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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