Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
