Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
