Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
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Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
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i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize