Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
