Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
