Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
