You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I love how my cats smell like pot.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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