doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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