Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Randomize
