that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
