Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
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