Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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