That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
