Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
