i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
