He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize