I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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