I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
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The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize