What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
