I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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