i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
