I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize