Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
one might say we're banned from that church
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
