I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize