Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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