so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
