uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
