I want to stick my p in your. b.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
This toilet bowl is my home.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
